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Jokes >> About Men >> No Guts, No Heart, No Spine
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| Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."The second responds, "Yeah, but y |
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Jokes >> About Men >> Short Men Jokes (part One)
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| How are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.
How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle |
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Jokes >> About Men >> Short Men Jokes (part Two)
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| What do men and mascara have in common?
They both run at the first sign of emotion.
What do men and pantyhose have in common?
They either cling, run, or don't fit right in the crotch!
What do you instantly know about a well-dre |
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Jokes >> About Men >> Great Advice To Pass On To Your Daughters
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| 1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.
3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
4. Never l |
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Jokes >> About Men >> Mr. Right Rejection Form Letter
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| Dear (____rejectee's name here____ ),
I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as my Mr. Right.
As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified can |
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Jokes >> About Men >> Comebacks To Pickup Lines
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| Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yo |
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Jokes >> About Men >> Men Are Like...
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| ... Blenders.
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
... Chocolate Bars.
Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
... Coffee.
The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
... Comm |
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Jokes >> About Men >> Understanding Men
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| "IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"UH HU |
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Jokes >> About Men >> Politically Correct Descriptions For Men
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| He does not have a BEER GUT.
He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
He is not a BAD DANCER.
He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME.
He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
He is not BALDING.
He i |
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Jokes >> About Men >> Diary Of A House Husband
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| This week I am at home & playing house husband. My wife left a list of things I need to do. This is soooooo easy I thought I would share it with you.
1). Make the beds......
What a waste of effort, we're only going to sleep in them |
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Jokes >> About Men >> Mishap Of Words
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| These two guys walk into a bar, and they've each got a black eye... The bartender asks the first guy. "What happened to you?"
The first guy responds "I had a slight mishap of words with my wife.. You see, we were getting plane ticke |
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Jokes >> About Men >> Why It's GREAT To Be A Guy...
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| - Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
- Your orgasms are real. Always.
- Your last name stays put.
- The garage is all yours.
- Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
- Wedding plans take care of themselves.
- |
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Jokes >> About Men >> Three Old Men
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| Three old men are talking about their aches, pains and bodily functions.
The 70 year old man says, "I have this problem. I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to pee."
The 80 year old man says, "My case is wo |
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Jokes >> About Men >> The Male Point System
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| In the world of romance, one single rule applies:
Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects...So |
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